Monitoring appointment #1

Went in for my monitoring after 6 days on the Lupron and I am fully suppressed!  Plan of attack is as follows:
- Start 6 Bravelle this Sunday through Wednesday
- Switch to 4 Bravelle and 2 Menopur next Thursday (monitoring appointment #2)
- Continue with anticipated HcG trigger shot 7/19
- Tentative retrieval scheduled 7/21

So far, I haven't experienced any new side effects of the Lupron, except maybe the crazy/vivid dreams and slight insomnia.  Ok, and a couple of mood swings too (poor M).

Even though this cycle is taking longer, it feels like it came quicker.  I think not having to go up to the doc's for injection teaching, IVF orientation, etc is helpful to move it along. I feel like there is less anticipation this time around also- I feel more relaxed and less stressed out about what is to come, because I've done it before.  Hopefully that will bode well for me and this time we can get the job done!  Honestly, it is kind of sad...I'm not expecting much this cycle for some reason.  I'm not trying to set myself up to fail, I guess I'm just feeling like if it didn't work I wouldn't be as devastated as last time.  I feel like I'm totally floating through life at this point, partially telling myself "this will happen this will happen" and the other part of me thinking "well, if it doesn't happen, maybe we can just go the donor egg route and be done with it".  Don't get me wrong, donor eggs are plan B followed by adoption as plan C, but maybe I've just talked myself into the fact that both of those options may very well be on the table after another couple tries at IVF?  I don't know, I try not to dissect my feelings anymore.  I am just so tired, and I haven't even been at this for six months yet!  Some of the ladies I read about have been at it for YEARS. 

Regardless, this experience has definitely taken some years off of my life and contributed to my increased gray hairs.