Update on the lone frosty...and the 2 week wait

We are just having the longest of pity parties over here.

Yesterday afternoon we got the result of the PGD on the lone embryo that was able to be frozen on Wednesday.  The embryologist loved this one before she froze it- she said it was the best looking one, graded an A, and looked even better than the boy that was transferred on Tuesday.  She said this embryo froze perfectly and she had no doubt it would survive the thaw if necessary.  Unfortunately, it was abnormal.  So abnormal that it had three copies of every chromosome instead of two.  How does that even happen?!  I mean, I know how it happens because I studied cell meiosis religiously because of my inversion, but I just still didn't think it would happen to us.  It is really one of those crazy flukes in nature and could have happened to anyone, not just those with inversion.  Again, an inherent risk of stimulating a ton of eggs that are not ready to be ovulated.

So this 2 week wait (2ww) thing- I did not appreciate the gravity of the situation until Day 1 of the 2ww.  This is torture.  TORTURE.  I am on day 4 and have no idea how I am going to focus on anything else but this for the next 10 days.  There are websites devoted to this wait!  Just google "two week wait" and there are tons of women out there in this hellish limbo between embryo transfer and the blood pregnancy test.  We should be able to take these two weeks off from work and be sedated in a bed somewhere.  Work is suffering;  I am not motivated to do anything that diverts my attention from this baby.  Personal life is suffering;  I don't want to see or speak to anyone that has kids and want to open hand slap the mothers I see yelling at their children in public.  Intimacy is suffering; M & I are on about a 5 week hiatus and that is just not helpful with our situation.

Of course, every pregnancy symptom I could have right now is ALSO a side effect of (1) getting your period or (2) progesterone and estrogen meds that I am currently taking.  My boobs are killing me- a side effect of pregnancy? Or a side effect of my progesterone?   I have cramps- a side effect of pregnancy? Or a sign that my period is on it's way?  I have a dull ache in my lower belly- like I have been doing sit ups.  That is the only one that is questionable.  I don't believe that is a side effect of my meds, and I also had this symptom in my last two pregnancies.  But God forbid I get excited or think that maybe I'm pregnant because the let down on May 31 (the date of the PT) will be just more than I can bear.  Not that it won't be anyway. But still.

So there are zero embryos on ice, and a lot is riding on the million dollar man (as I like to call him) floating around in my uterus right now. I really hope he is holding on tight in there.  We are going to need a miracle.