It has been a rollercoaster ride the past 8 days since embryo transfer. One minute I swear I’m pregnant, the next minute it I think it is all in my head. Having been pregnant twice before, I know what it is supposed to feel like, and what my top 3 pregnancy symptoms are: horribly sore boobs, lower belly stretching pain, and fatigue. As of today, I have all three of these symptoms. What a cruel trick our bodies play on us, especially with the drugs I am on right now. In addition to these symptoms, I have had these: killer indigestion, soreness in my legs/ankles, rapid heartbeat, insomnia, frequent urination and extremely vivid dreams. M is convinced I am pregnant, but I still cannot get my hopes up. But let’s face it; they are already up. As much as I try to talk myself down and say “no, it can’t be”, the other side can’t help but be an eternal optimist.
I want to pee on a stick so badly… I think about doing it every single morning when I wake up. There are two pregnancy tests in my medicine cabinet just calling my name. The little baby on the front of the box talks to me and says “go ahead, no one will know- just do it”. The only thing that stops me is the thought of a prematurely negative result.
As M says, why do you want to disappoint yourself twice when you can just wait for the real test and do it once? It is logical…but I’m not really about logic right now.
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