42 weeks- my apologies

My man has pushed the boundaries.  We are almost at 42 weeks and getting ready to pack up and go to the hospital Sunday night so I can be induced.  Friday night into Saturday I had some really intense contractions but nothing I couldn't work through, and certainly nothing that was consistent or predictable.

I am full of all kinds of emotions ranging from excitement to paralyzing fear.  On one hand I feel so incredibly grateful to have made it this far and to be in this position of having a healthy baby that is 100% us.  But the overriding emotion is that of disappointment and upset over having to kick off this labor and delivery with a medical intervention.  This is exactly what I did NOT want to happen.  I know that the Pitocin + baby's heart rate = frantic doctors suggesting c- sections.  And even if that doesn't happen, Pitocin is supposed to make your labor go from 0 to 60 and makes it almost impossible for the mother not to have some kind of pain relief.  The domino effect will be at work and I hope I am strong enough to resist it. I will try my hardest, but Luke, I want to apologize in advance for the drugs that we are going to give to you before you even take your first breath.  I have tried for the last 10 months to protect you from outside pollutants and here we are, about to give you (and me) something that goes against everything I stand for.  I tried the red raspberry tea, the evening primrose oil, and any other way to get prostaglandins in my system (without going into details).  But the fact remains that you have stayed in there past the date that the medical community considers safe and reasonable so now you must be coaxed out, ready or not.   For that, I am sorry.  I hope one day we will live in a world where the human gestational period can be further pinpointed and the 42 week window becomes an outdated concept. If I could go beyond 42 weeks, I would.  I would wait for you to decide when the time is right. 

Nevertheless, we are overjoyed and cannot wait to meet you FINALLY!  Even if you are not ready to meet us yet...