Man have we had an exciting/stressful past couple of weeks.
This week is our 4 year anniversary and I can’t believe it
has been that long. I know it sounds cliché but we have been through the ups
and downs over the past 4 years and I believe some of what we have gone through
would have broken other couples up. But
we have stayed strong and united during the rollercoaster ride of IVF and I’m
so thrilled that our time has almost come!
Only a few more weeks until we get to meet our baby boy (i.e. the
“million dollar man”) that we have worked so hard to bring into this
world. I have to admit that still, every
time I hear an “oops I got pregnant” story, I’m seething with jealousy. Not an admirable quality to have, I know, but
I can’t help it. Even when I have my
baby in my arms I will still have the tattoo of IVF all over me. It never, ever goes away. Especially when I hear about people having
their second and third children, because I know that I have another round of
IVF around the corner to get my second baby (God willing) I just want to
scream. It takes me $30K to have a baby,
and *poof* just takes some people a couple of months. But I digress.
Mother’s Day was this past Sunday and my sweet M got me the
cutest card that said “To my mommy from your little sprout” with a little plant
on the front of the card. ADORABLE! Then, because mommies don’t often have the
most recent technology, M got me an iPod iTouch.
Talk about a good gift, this beats everything
I had planned for Father’s day and M’s birthday! It was totally unexpected; I just have to
figure out how to use it. M is due for
an iPhone pretty soon so we’ll be able to FaceTime during the day if he’s
around so he can at least see the little man. The second part of my present was to have M’s
undivided attention to finish off our baby registry and start to set up the
nursery and learn how to use everything.
We spent a good 2 hours at Babies R Us (God bless that man) and then had
a nice lunch out. At home, we unpacked
everything, did laundry, put together the Diaper Genie, Baby Bjorn, crib
bedding, infant bathtub….and we still have more to do! I don’t know if it’s
just me or if this is common, but I feel SO NOT READY! I feel really behind- maybe it’s the April
that I had, but I am verging on frantic.
Every time my mom talks to me she says she’s worried because I’m so on
edge and nothing suits me. I think it’s
“nesting” but maybe it’s a little more than that. I have this obsessive need for everything to
be perfect and it’s starting to take over my life. I hope my hormones will be back in balance
after the baby gets here because I think I’m majorly unbalanced.
On top of it all I have this crazy idea in my mind that
we’ll get our granite kitchern countertops done before my due date. I visited a show room today to
engage a company to do it. Seriously, I
must be nuts. M installed a storm door
two weeks ago, and during that same weekend we discovered a serious mold issue
in our garage. There was water on the
floor and some bubbling in the ceiling- upon further investigation and a hole
in the garage ceiling later- we have mold covered insulation and a pipe leak
from our master bathroom shower! Luckily
we were able to get an emergency plumber out there to fix the pipe, now just
the hole in the ceiling remains. That is supposed to be fixed this weekend.
In addition to all of THAT, last week I found out that in
spite of my company’s acquisition of another company in Baltimore and the loss
of tons of jobs in my area at my location, I am actually going to be promoted
effective May 21 (right before maternity leave) so when I get back in October I
have to hit the ground running with a new team and possibly have to travel to
Baltimore for transition. Don’t get me
wrong, I am extremely excited that this has FINALLY happened for me after 4
years in the same position, but I really had just come to grips with the fact
that maybe it was ok that I wasn’t going to be promoted. Now they spring this on me and I was happy
for myself for about one hour before I realized how much will be expected of me
come October when I have a four month old and am the only one available for
drop off and pickup at daycare. But
that’s just like me; I can’t look on the bright side of anything right
now. I am frantic, hormonal and my head
is in a million different places!
Last Friday I had my 35 week doc appointment and yesterday
we got our monthly ultrasound pictures!
The little man is actually looking like a real baby now…chubby cheeks
and all! His nose was a little smooshed
in the picture but M keeps reminding me that he’s in fluid and the ultrasound
pictures aren’t actually representative
of how he might look. I can’t wait to
see him in person and hold him in my arms.
Then all of this craziness will be worth it! I think I’m mostly crazy
and like a woman on a mission because I want to be fully engulfed and 100%
focused on the baby when he comes. I don’t want distractions like granite and
cleaning. I don’t want to do anything
else but focus on being “mommy”…nothing else is as important. So that’s why I’m trying to get all of these
other odds and ends finished so they will be out of my mind completely by the
time he gets here.
In the meantime…I really need to sleep.
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