Baby Steps- 5w3d

This morning I had my first appointment at the satellite RE office. I was so nervous in the morning; I really thought I was going to be sick.  It was either nerves or the start of morning sickness, but probably a little bit of both.  I was feeling super emotional driving to my appointment- I saw a little family of goats in a field and burst into tears.  If I saw a family of ants I’d probably do the same.  Anyway, they took me back right away and I had the nicest ultrasound tech, she was so bubbly and sweet I couldn’t help but think positive. She took my blood and then did an internal ultrasound, where she immediately located one gestational sac and a fetal pole.  She took a couple of pictures and printed them out for me, and did some measurements.  Everything looked fine and she confirmed my ovaries were “sleeping”.  Poor little ovaries, they’ve been run through the wringer, they deserve a break… 

 After my exam I met with the doctor and he told me to keep doing what I’m doing with the meds, and that he was really surprised they didn’t see two sacs given that my levels were so high. I asked what the percentages were with ectopic pregnancy with IVF and he said around 1%.  He said there is also something called “heterotopic” pregnancy, where one embryo implants in the uterus, and one in the fallopian tube (i.e. ectopic).  But he said the chances that it would happen to me are very slim (less than 1%).  So now of course that’s all I can think about.  Ectopic pregnancies don’t rear their ugly heads until around 7 weeks when you can have a lot of pain that might feel like appendicitis.  Your fallopian tube can rupture and if you are also carrying a viable pregnancy you will need surgery.  There’s about a 35% chance that the viable pregnancy will not survive because of the trauma of surgery.  I might be going overboard here, but I really am nervous about this one. You would think that the sh*tty hand I’ve been dealt is over, but I’ve learned there is no limit to the sh*t one person can be exposed to.

So now I will just have to wait a few more weeks and just keep praying.  The doc is going to see me weekly until about 12 weeks, and then I will be released to my OBGYN.  Next appointment is the morning of Friday 10/28.  Symptoms so far are crankiness, emotional outbursts, sore boobs, belly, bloating/indigestion and general feeling of ickiness.  No cravings, sickness (except for nerves this morning) …yet.