Monday, October 10, 2011

7dp5dt- Confusion and Follow up #1

I may have done myself a disservice by taking an HPT last night. It was positive (very faint second line, but DEFINITELY there)...and I took one again this morning and got the same result.  We are/were so excited, but then around 1pm today, I started lightly spotting.  That didn't upset me too much, as I understand it's common.  However, by 7pm it was pinkish/reddish and a bit heavier, which completely freaked me out.  By 8pm it seems to have stopped...but I have no idea what just happened or what it means. I plan on taking another HPT Wednesday morning to see if the line is still there, which will be 9dp5dt and the day I "should" have missed my period if I were a normal person.  I also think the line, if it's still there, should be much darker by then. Unfortunately, at my follow up this morning they will not be testing for hcG so I will not know for sure until the beta test next Monday, 10/17.  This is absolute torture!  Last time, I did not have a second line in any of the 5 HPTs I took- at least this time there is a glimmer of hope, even though I realize it can be snatched away at any moment.  I even thought about going to the gym tomorrow and walking on the treadmill, thinking everything was going to be just fine.  But now, I'm scared to even do that.

I am such a mix of emotions right now, but mostly I think I just feel numb.  I can't really be too happy, but I can't be sad yet either because technically I'm testing positive for excess hcG.  I'm praying for for some pregnancy symptoms to make me feel better- I'll take anything,  even morning sickness! It is an understatement to say that this process is an emotional rollercoaster.

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