Sean Edward's Birth Story

Oh Sean.  I feel the same way writing this birth story as I did Luke's.  We repeated history on Wednesday, March 19, 2014.  Repeated everything that could have gone wrong in your brother's birth, just in a shorter time window.  Here are the details of the days leading up to your birth...even though you came into the world surgically, I couldn't wait another moment longer to meet you.  You are a little love, a ray of sunshine and the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen (tied with your brother, of course). 

I started having prodromal/pre-labor  on the night of Tuesday, March 18, 2014.   Your due date was March 8th, and I was now almost a week and a half past my "due" date.   I really thought this was it, and we would have you as our little lucky charm!  From about midnight until 5am I had contractions that were approx 30 seconds-1 minute long, about 10-15 minutes apart.  When morning came, they vanished just as quickly as they appeared!  I was due into the doctor's office for non-stress testing that morning at 9:30am.  I went into the doctor's office and they hooked me up to a monitor for about a half hour.  I only had one contraction during that time, and you only moved a few times so they said they wanted to get me tested further up at Chester County Hospital where my doctor was on call for the day.

I was up at CC Hospital by 11am and was hooked up to even more machines.  Results from that test were fine, and I was sent down for an ultrasound to monitor fluid levels, fetal movement and practice breathing.  You passed with flying colors and I was discharged from the hospital!  After a nice chat with doula Nikki, I was convinced in the next few nights I would go into real labor and we'd be on our way to meeting you.

That night, around 11pm on Mar 18, the contractions started up again.  From 11pm- 3am (Mar 19) they were pretty far apart- again, 1 minute long, about 15 mins apart.  But at 3am they started to kick up a notch.  They were coming about 5 minutes apart, 45 seconds- 1 minute long.  I rode that out until about 6am and then we phoned doula Nikki.  By 6am my contractions were 4 minutes apart, about 1 minute long.  She confirmed active labor and through strong contractions my heart leapt for joy! We were finally going to get to meet you, and on your own terms.  Not through induction, Pitocin or any other medical interventions- but when you picked the time!  After speaking with Nikki and packing for the hospital, daddy phoned Mimi and Papa and let them know it was time to start the wheels in motion.  They were at our house by 630am and we left immediately after- your brother was still sleeping in his crib!  

The ride to the hospital was excruciating- mommy laid over the birthing ball in the back seat of daddy's truck- having contractions that were 3 minutes apart and 1 minute long.  The ride to West Chester seemed like an eternity, and doula Nikki met us there so we could get admitted.  I rolled out of the car into a wheelchair and we were on our way!

Once in the labor and delivery wing of the hospital, I was set up in a room and hooked up to monitors similar to the ones from the day before.  The monitors confirmed my frequency of contractions and that your heart rate was just fine through all of it.  I labored until about 9am when the doctor on call (Dr. Hotmer) was out of surgery and ready to take a look at the monitors and check me for dilation.  She said my pattern was looking good, baby was looking good, and she went to do an internal exam.  It was at that point that everything changed for us.

I was confirmed to only be dilated 1cm, which wouldn't have been all bad.  However, you had not "engaged" in my pelvis at all, which is required if there is going to be a natural birth (non c- section). You were almost 42 weeks and you were still up high.  Knowing what I know now, this is very common- almost 80% of second pregnancies aren't engaged by the time labor has started.  However, at the time, it was presented as a huge issue.  There had to be some reason you weren't engaged, and the doctor told us that I could go through another full day of labor and have to have a c section if you weren't engaging in my pelvis.  Faced with that thought, and after a few minutes of talking with doula Nikki, we decided to move forward with the C section.  At that point, I just wanted the pain medicine but of course we had to wait until the anesthesia doctor came to see us, almost one hour of painful contractions later.

Around 11am he came to see me and they started prepping me for surgery, including 2 liters of IV fluids and anti nausea medicine.  Around 11:15am they wheeled me to the OR, and started the spinal for my pain relief.  We were all ready for surgery and I believe they started at 11:30am and you were born at 11:43am.  Daddy was taking pictures the whole time, and I didn't get sick this time at all.  I was nervous and crying, and thinking about how I couldn't wait to meet you.  The song I remember playing from Dr. Hotmer's Ipod was "Landslide" as sung by Stevie Nicks.  I was crying but couldn't feel my chest - and I kept thinking of your brother and you together and what a happy family we were going to be.  Finally, I heard your beautiful cry - and the doctor confirmed the amniotic sac was full of meconium (just like your bro) and  you had the cord wrapped around your neck twice.    You had aspirated some of the meconium and before I saw you, you had to be cleaned up and suctioned.  Your daddy went over to be with you while they stitched me up.

Finally I got to see you for the first time when dad took your picture as you were being weighed!  You were an absolutely perfect 8 lbs, 3 oz, 21 inches long and 14 inch head circumference!   And you had a full head of jet black hair- not at ALL like your brother!  However, from all other aspects, you looked exactly like him!

It took about 20 minutes for them to put me back together again, then I was wheeled back to recovery while we waited for you to finish getting cleaned up!    The first person that I wanted to visit was doula Nikki so she could check your latch and make sure nursing was up and running.  There were no complications from my surgery, so I was allowed to have ice chips and water which made me feel so much better immediately.  I still did not have feeling in my legs, but was able to hold you immediately and have you on my chest.  You were like nothing I'd ever seen, but like everything that was familiar to me. You latched like a pro and began eating as if you were completely starved!  Everything went well so we were transferred to the maternity ward in preparation for our 48 hour stay in the hospital.   Your grandparents were all there and eager to meet you, so they got a chance to hold you and see you for the next few hours.

 The first day at the hospital went fairly well- I was feeling ok and you seemed to be doing great at eating and sleeping.  However, when one of the nurses came to take your vital signs, including breaths per minute, they noted that you had "rapid" breathing and wanted to take you to the NICU for the night to be evaluated.  Talk about deja vu.  This is exactly what happened to Luke because he aspirated meconium due to being 2 weeks late.  We talked to the NICU doctors and explained our horrible experience with the Christiana Hospital NICU and they fully understood our concerns and assured us that you would not be kept for reasons other than breathing.

They stayed true to their word, and you were released the next morning.    They took your blood, gave you two xrays to view your chest, and tested you for all kinds of infections.  Thank goodness you came up clean on all counts!

 The remainder of our 48 hour stay at the hospital was uneventful.  I sent you to the nursery the second night because daddy had to go home to take care of Luke.  I could not get out of bed and was in too much pain to tend to you, so they brought you to me for feedings- I needed the nurse's help immensely.  That, coupled with the fact that I had a roommate the second night, sealed the deal for sending you to sleep in the nursery.

All in all,  we had great nurses at the hospital and the entire experience was much less intrusive than last time.  There was no revolving door of doctors, nurses, photographers and visitors.  It was very quiet and low key, and we were released a day early because we both were doing great.  The discharge was very quick, around noon on Friday, March 21st, and was uneventful.  Sean, you did not make a peep the entire time leaving the hospital, or the car ride home.  It was a 65 degree and sunny day in March, and you were calm, cool and relaxed!  We even got to stop to fill my pain medication on the way home.

Once we got home, we had a few hours to do some chores (laundry, grocery, etc) before picking up Luke at school to meet his new baby brother!  Luke came home around 5pm on that Friday and could not wait to see "bebay Sean".  He says "Sean" like "gnocci"- sounds like there's a G in front of "Sean".  So funny- I wish I could bottle that pronunciation forever and keep it in near my heart.

What a night and day experience from my first birth.  Yes, some things were absolutely the same (2 weeks late, meconium, c section) but a lot of things I am grateful were so very different.  The one thing I know that is exactly the same is the amount of love I feel for this little being as soon as I knew I was pregnant.  And it grew exponentially for 9 months while I carried him- then finally when the big day arrived my heart exploded for the second time in a little less than two years.  

Sean Edward I love you more than words can say, you are my little man and will always be the baby I carried home in my arms on your birth day

Non stress testing and Biophysical profile

Last night was a crazy night.  I had mild contractions, 10 minutes apart an 30-60 seconds in length, for about 4 1/2 hours (1230am-5am).  It is called "prodromal" or pre-labor and usually happens at night (says Nikki).  Sometimes you can have it up to 4 nights before real labor kicks in, or as little as one night.  They happen at night then stop in the morning, since oxytocin levels are higher at night.  I had the same mild contractions all day today, and the hope is that they help to thin out (efface) the cervix so dilation can happen more quickly in active labor.

I am having one right now.

I was scheduled for my non stress testing (NST) at 930am at the doc's office then a biophysical profile (BPP) at the radiology lab at chester county hospital.  Apparently they didn't like the looks of some of of the baby's heart rate decelerations, so they sent me up to the hospital right away.  I took my time getting there, stopping for dry cleaning, the bank, and a soda to get the baby moving.  By the time I got there, was admitted and hooked up to the machines it was 11am.  I was on the machine until 130pm when they came and got me for my BPP ultrasound.  I did not get out of the hospital until 3pm and was starving- so stopped for fast food fries and vanilla milkshake!    Thank goodness the baby looked good and did everything he was supposed to- movement, practice breathing and good amniotic fluid.  I was worried they would try to keep me and induce me if they didn't seem something that they liked.    I do resent being in the hospital all day though- at least I got to be in a bed and watch TV- I even tried to snooze after getting no sleep last night.

Since my doctor was at the hospital today, I asked her to check my cervix- turns out I'm 70% effaced but still only about 1cm dilated.  However, a thinned cervix is more likely to dilate so I feel like we are on our way and one more night of this predromal labor I feel like we may be in business.  Had an nice long chat with Nikki on the way home so fingers are crossed at this point.

I forgot what all of this pain felt like but it comes back really quickly.  Baby Sean we hope to meet you soon before eviction day on Friday.

41 weeks- why am I surprised?

Well, here I am again.  The place I thought I couldn't possibly go this time.  Overdue-land.  I don't know why I am surprised that I have made it this far again. I should have known.  Doula Nikki said so.  I know to trust her.

It was another great week of being off and getting things done. I detailed my master bathroom- 2 hours worth of cleaning in one single room.  Went to chiropractor, lunch with mom, dealt with some contractors at my house related to the basement construction.  Got to do some flower arranging for the spring and do more organizing of kitchen and bathroom.  But each night I end up empty.  No contractions to speak of (aside from braxton hicks), and all I do is drink red raspberry leaf tea and stick evening primrose pills up my hoo-ha in attempt to soften my cervix.

All to find out at today's appointment that I'm no more than a fingertip dilated and no softening to speak of.  The doc even attempted to "stretch" me to 1cm and sweep my membranes but couldn't get up there to do it.  Nice.  Why is this happening to me?  I want this more than anything to go into labor on my own and my body just refuses to cooperate.   I think it's because I have done so much research and want this so bad that for some reason Murphy's law is kicking.  I just want to have a pity party for myself today.  However, after some googling I found out that it's pretty much impossible for a woman not to dilate.  There are usually either one of two things going on: 1) she is not emotionally ready or 2) the baby is malpositioned and the head is not exerting enough pressure on the cervix to thin and dilate. For Luke, it was #2.  He wasn't positioned correctly and was never going to come out the way he was.  But, no one tried to do any techniques on me to try to help that.   I tend to think that this baby might have the same issue.  He is probably chin up (he is supposed to tuck his chin) and that will cause his crown to push on the cervix and send the signal that we are ready.

I was reading spinningbabies.com to try to see some techniques to help him into position (if he's not already).  Just to be safe.  I know he is at least head down but the doc says she can't tell what position he's in until he engages in the pelvis more.  But he won't engage unless he's in the right position.  Catch- 22.  So now what?

I spent most of the afternoon feeling sorry for myself, after 3 full hours at the doc office- 1.5 hrs of wait time, 30 minutes with the doc, 30 minutes doing non-stress testing, and 30 minutes of scheduling & talking to nurses.  Now I am just trying to forget about it for the weekend and enjoy myself.  As doula Nikki says, this is not a battle I'm going to win by fighting.  She tells me I have to surrender, but it is so hard.  I reserve the right to feel crappy and that's just the way it's going to be for now.

40 weeks- still hanging on

I don't know why it's surprising to me that I'm still hanging on at 40 weeks with my second baby. Everyone said "oh, second babies come faster, sooner"...blah blah.  WRONG.   Well, wrong so far.  At my 39 week appointment there was zero news to speak of as usual.  Closed and high cervix with no dilation.  It just messes with my mind. I am not sure what it is about my body that refuses to understand that 40 weeks is about the time to start releasing the baby!  Maybe I don't produce a hormone that other people do that makes the body start to do it's thing?    I got a a chiropractic adjustment this morning, stim on my shoulder and a prenatal massage this afternoon- not to mention a pressure point pedicure yesterday.  My next step is acupuncture, red raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil to get things going.  And I know I should try doing "other" things with M, but we are both so exhausted the thought of it makes me cringe.  Sorry, baby ;)

Other than waiting for Mr. Sean, starting maternity leave on Monday was the best thing ever.   I wrapped up everything at work February 28 and left the office feeling so free last week.  Of course, my first "official" day on maternity leave was a snow day for Luke's school so we were home together and I was exhausted, but we got through it.  The last few days have been bliss and I have gotten so much done!  I have lunched with friends and my parents, and the next few days I'm not going to leave the house.  Two of my girlfriends are pregnant and due this summer- one just found out she's having a boy, and the other is having a girl.  It is such an exciting time for everyone and I can't wait to go to more baby showers this summer while I'm off.  I'm going to be so spoiled and I know going back to work is going to be harder this time than it was last time. I already know that.  And the fact that I'm never going to have another maternity leave / "vacation" again makes me really sad.  BUT- let's not go there.  That's a long time away and we have a lot of basement work to do on the house so we need every penny.  But maybe we can revisit "part time" or even another company because my company is probably going to work me into the ground when I go back.  I feel like it's going to be punishment for being out so long.

Today I am so grateful to be sitting with my feet up and just relaxing until my 40 week appointment today.  I am not expecting much.

Baby Sean we can't wait to meet you!!  These are our last few days as a family of 3 and the time was so fleeting!  I am so happy to be graduating to a family of 4 and you are going to be the perfect addition to the Hufford family!

38 weeks- more winter storms and croup

We are zombies.  We are so tired.  I am so tired.  Last day of work is officially Feb 28, which is one week from yesterday.  I absolutely could not do one more day. The start of a full five months off will be glorious and even if baby Sean is late, I will have a couple of weeks to myself just to lounge around like the lazy prego mama I am.  I feel like such a sloth, but I have to do this for survival. I feel myself shutting down.  But in typical Type A fashion, even as I'm "shutting down", I'm making lists for things I will do during my 3 week "vacation" before the baby comes...because I'm pretty sure he'll be stretching it until 42 weeks.

At both my 37 and 38 week appointments, my cervix is closed and high.  The doctor's exact words were "your cervix doesn't seem to know you are even pregnant!".  Nice, exactly what I wanted to hear. I keep meaning to email doula Nikki to make me feel better. But I will see her tomorrow morning for coffee with my cousin Rachael. I guess it's still early- if I'm like that at 40 weeks then I'm going to start to worry.  Please, God, no surgery.  I don't care about being uncomfortable or anxious, I just really really really don't want surgery and I want a shot to do this right!

We have continued the crazy winter here in Chester County, PA.  Ice, snow, freezing mess on the roads.  Can't wait for spring! Poor Luke had croup again this week, second time this winter and evidence of how being indoors just completely stinks! Today it was 50 degrees out so there were lots of kids outside and we took Luke outside too just to get some fresh air! We got the first "lice" letter of the year as well- apparently it's common in school to have a break out of lice every year.  I was itching as soon as I heard about it and though it looks like we are in the clear, everything went into hot wash water this week.  Between croup, lice and 38 weeks pregnant I'm about done with this week!

M is working on the basement as much as he can before the baby comes- the plumber, cabinet person and radon remediator come this week, as well as my polyshutter installation in the family room.  One last big push before the baby halts all house work for awhile.  Having the basement done will provide much needed space, and a future playroom for the boys that will keep my upstairs looking presentable for company :)  I don't know what people did before Pinterest...I am addicted!

We had dinner tonight one last time with my brothers and sisters in law before the baby. We were trying to recollect the last time we had done it, and decided it had been at least two years, maybe more.  We went to a restaurant that was about halfway for all of us, did a 6pm start and didn't leave until 9pm!  It was so much fun to catch up with them without kids around- we love our kids but they are a big distraction and you never get to just chat with the adults because you are always worrying about who is pushing or stealing a toy from who. Quite relaxing, even if i couldn't partake in the BYOB beverages and limoncello after dinner drink.

Well, a little less than two weeks til the official due date.  I hope this is going to be my last entry before 40 weeks but I think I know myself better.  These boys just love this mama's uterus!

36 weeks - ice storm & winter from h e double hockey sticks

This is what 36 weeks looks like.

I don't know how I'm going to do another 4, possibly 6, weeks of this. I don't remember feeling this way last time.  I don't remember the tiredness that starts at about 9am and doesn't let up until I fall into bed around 8pm. My brain is mush and my body can barely function sometimes.  Going to work is like running a marathon and when you get to the end, you have to run some more.  Thank goodness the cleaners come every other week.  I just spent 5 hours today doing food prep/freeze for when the baby comes.  I made 4 vegan lentil loaves and 12 stuffed peppers. My mom is going to make 2 veggie lasagnas and I think we'll be all set for at least 2 mos after the baby is born.  When asked, I will tell people to just bring food so I don't have to cook- ever again!  I was thinking about healthychefcreations.com for when I go back to work- an organic (and can be vegan) food delivery service.  There just isn't enough time to do anything but work and come home/eat/bath/bed and I know it's about to get even more crazy.

We have had the worst winter here in the NE US.  We have had more snow than I can remember in the  last 5 years, and this week was no exception.  Monday we had a snow storm followed by an ice storm on Wednesday.  Of course with work, we were in the month-end close which is the time when you are not allowed to be off at all.  My work is ridiculous and crazy and I always say on this maternity leave I'm looking for another job (4 days/week).  Wednesday with the ice storm we lose power and don't get it back until sometime on Thursday, so the three of us slept at my parents' house that night.  I was so thankful we had the option but it's hard when you get out of your normal routine during the week.  By Friday I was so exhausted I had to cancel a playdate for Saturday with an old friend because I just couldn't stand to do one more thing.  It was just an exhausting week overall.  

I had my 36 week appointment- blood pressure looking good, no other issues to note.  Got my group B strep test but no results yet.  No dilation or effacement yet, measuring on track and heart beat sounding good! Sean is head down and ready to come out!  I swear he moves so much he is trying to get out.  I have Braxton Hicks a lot, especially at night and especially this week when I was under so much stress with work and the weather.   They were almost painful and not just tightness in my abdomen.  Again, I don't really remember these last time, but I was reading that the stronger they get the closer labor might be.  I don't want to have the baby this early, but in another few weeks wouldn't be so bad ;)   

34 weeks- Reflections on my last pregnancy

I had my 34 week appointment this week and all is looking good!  I am tipping the scales at +40 lbs from my starting weight, which is pretty much where I was last time I think.  I am having Braxton Hicks contractions pretty regularly, and also very mild cramps.  I had to ask the doctor this week for a note saying I should only be working 40 hours/week because the last few weeks have been absolutely horrible at work.  Not to mention the 3 times I've been to the pediatrician with Luke in the last 3 weeks (ear infection, croupe, ear infection)...and 4 snow days.  I am completely exhausted and really nearing the end of my rope.  M has been so great helping out with Luke - every weekend morning he gets up with Luke and lets me sleep in.  I am definitely excited to get my body back and be able to get on the ground and really play with the babies!

Speaking of getting my pregnancy body back, I am acutely aware that this will probably be the last time I'm pregnant in my life.  It is so interesting that I've waited my whole life to have the "child bearing" years, and after all of the IVF and infertility trials, I am coming to the end of this road.  It is bittersweet for me.  M said it the other day, and I didn't even realize he was thinking of it too.  He said "I will miss pregnant Mariana".  I will miss knowing the feeling of someone kicking me in the middle of the night :)....the way I cherish the fact that I'm the one who knew him first.  Both of my babies are such miracles in their own right (but aren't all the babies of the world?)....the fact that I was able to have them will never cease to amaze me.  My only fear is that they don't realize how perfect and wanted they are.  I will miss my maternity clothes- and the fact that skinny jeans and stretch pants aren't as daunting to me when I'm pregnant.  Flaunting the curves and the belly is so liberating after living a life of always thinking you are "fat".  I will miss being waited on and given concessions.  But most of all, I will miss the feeling of youth itself. These are the fertile, youthful, vital years where we are supposed to be a the top of our game- feeling good, looking good, doing good things.  I realize those years are fleeting and I'm trying to hold on- and pregnancy helps me do that.  But you can't stop time.