So, I went to church on Sunday with my parents while M was working. I hadn't been in a month or so, and I thought it would be good to have some reflection time in the midst of the chaos. I am still undecided on whether or not it was a good idea... in addition to every pregnant woman in the congregation sitting near us, my mom & I also cried through most of the service (the songs were sad, the readings were sad, nothing really uplifting). Sometimes I think this might be harder on my parents than it is on me, but then all I have to do is take a look at my 50 needles and then I realize it actually IS harder on me :-)
I know I am not supposed to be Googling my "condition" of inverted chromosome 7, but I started to do some internet research (I am using that term loosely) last night. I can't find anything on it, nor can I find anything with stats on success rates of IVF w/ PGD for my specific chromosome abnormality. I can find tons of stuff on translocations (forums, blogs, case studies etc) but nothing on inversions. I have a call with our genetic counselor on Thursday and have some very specific questions for her. My impression so far is that the medical community speaks in generalities and avoids hard data, so I doubt I'll get any real comfort but still need to ask. I also was reading about couples that have had PGD testing done on multiple embryos and NONE were viable! I can't imagine the pain that goes with that- you take the drugs, go through the retrieval, fertilization, PGD and find out that all of your embryos are chromosomally abnormal and would miscarry if implanted-what if that is what happens to us? I try to stay positive but without statistics I have nothing else to really go by. At this point I don't even have a fear that I will miscarry if I have a healthy embryo implanted...the big fear is that there are ZERO embryos to implant after PGD. I keep telling M- all I need is one and my uterus can handle the rest!
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