28 weeks- Friday night horror story

 I have not only welcomed my third trimester this week, but have also welcomed a brand new pregnancy symptom- pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome! I noticed it last week when I would wake up in the middle of the night and one or both of my entire arms were on pins and needles so painfully I couldn't roll myself over.   Then I realized that in my right hand, the numbness in my fingers seemed to last all day long.  Now I just ignore the all day numbness in my middle and ring fingers- I forget what it feels like to have a normal hand.  Sleeping is still pretty painful, but I sleep on my left side and prop my right arm up on a pillow that I have between me & M, and that seems to keep the pain to a minimum.  Who knew?!

This past Friday was the second and final installment of our birth class at the Birth Center.  All in all it was a very worthwhile class and I'm glad we took it.  However, during class we heard a horror story that I will NOT soon forget.  So, one of the girls in our class was going to be having her second baby at the Birth Center.  Her first birth was at the hospital we will be delivering at, and she admitted she was had not done her research on natural birth or taken classes to prepare herself like she should have.  When she was about 6 cm dilated, I suppose she "broke down" when one of the nurses strongly suggested an epidural to her.  As she said, she wasn't prepared for the obstacles she would face in the hospital.  As soon as she had the epidural, within 5 minutes her baby's heart rate dropped and so did hers.  They rushed her off for an "emergency" c- section, and her son was born without incident and there was nothing wrong with him.  However, during her c- section, the epidural she had traveled up instead of down her body.  She said her arms and face were numb and she could feel everything from the waist down.  When asked by the anesthesiologist if she was ok, she lied and said yes because she knew if he knew that she wasn't, he would try to put her completely under then she wouldn't see her baby for another few hours. Afterwards they got her records from the hospital and the reason for the emergency c- section was not documented anywhere.  That story scares the you- know- what out of me for so many reasons.  Right then and there we started to re-think a Birth Center birth.

Two days later, on Sunday, we had the first prenatal appointment with our doula, Nikki.  It was a three hour appointment full of great information, and some even duplicative information from our Birth Center class.  But that is ok with me because I learn better with repetition! We discussed how much harder her job is at a hospital than at a birth center because there is always someone coming into the room trying to disrupt your focus.  We chatted for awhile about our options and have decided to explore the birth center option one more time and we are going on a tour this coming Wednesday evening, followed by our hospital tour on Friday evening.  I have about 4 more weeks to make a final decision (assuming the birth center has availability on my due date), as they will only accept me up to 34 weeks.  I almost want to have a dream or some kind of "sign" to tell me what to do.  I don't want to go to the hospital and end up having an unnecessary medical intervention that leads to a c section, nor do I want to end up at the birth center and have some kind of emergency.  It is such a double edged sword. Couple this with the fact that I just heard another birth story today that started out with a mom in perfect labor, getting ready to push, when the baby was at 2 station and the umbilical cord was wrapped around her torso so she was getting no oxygen and hear heart rate was 40 bpm (should be way higher). After a few minutes of putting the mom in a bunch of different positions to try to get the baby to move, it was of no avail and she had to have a c- section.  What would I have done in that situation if I wasn't in a hospital?!  It's like I want to have my cake and eat it too, but I don't know how realistic that is.  

I have a LOT more thinking and research to do.

27 weeks- Crazy Week

Oh man, this past week was nuts!  I forgot how much I hate doing things during the week- it throws me off my routine and I get all disheveled.

• Tuesday- sucked into a presentation by one of my neighbors trying to sell me something. I end up purchasing a year long membership to something I will not need and never use.  Commence financial guilt and I am currently looking for a way to cancel within three months
• Tuesday & Wednesday- Ceiling painter comes in to do the baby's room, our kitchen, master bath and master bedroom due to cracking and nail pops.  He leaves my house in shambles, covered in paint dust and dried bits of paint everywhere, including on furniture, hardwoods and appliances.  It takes me 3 , 4 hour evenings of cleaning to get everything back to normal
• Thursday- Two hour fetal ecocardiogram with my mom (starting at 8am) followed by 4pm settlement on our refinance- finally!!
• Friday- Three hour birthing class- the first of two - that I was looking forward to!  We were late and M had to step out multiple times due to an emergency at work
• Saturday- Wedding shower an hour away

 Blah!  I am glad it's a new week and I have nothing going on this week except an eye doc appointment and the last three hour birthing class.

The fetal ecocardiogram went really well on Thursday.  Nothing of note, just spent 1.5 hours inspecting his heart and got some great 3D images of the little guy.  I brought my mom, which went really well.  I am glad she got to see how everything works and got to be part of it since M couldn't be there.  If I were her, I would want my daughter to take me along too so even thought I don't think she understands much of it I think it was a nice thing to do.  At first I thought she'd be more emotional but she really wasn't; I think she was just amazed at the technology. 

The birth class we went to at the Birth Center this week was really awesome.  It was taught by a nurse from Jennersville Hospital who also used to work at the Hospital of the University of Penn.  She is an advocate of natural childbirth and the class itself was to prepare us for natural childbirth in the hospital setting.  She went through a slideshow and showed us some relaxation techniques, massage, and other ways to cope with pain.  She also described how labor might feel, how we would know when it started and the timeline we expect it to take. Next week I think they are showing more videos of birth and we are supposed to go into "mock" labor and we'll practice what we've learned.  I'm excited because next weekend is also our first doula prenatal appointment and I'm looking forward to see how much Nikki's teachings correspond to this birthing class.  I am thinking about getting a birth ball (i.e. an exercise ball) to use during labor. 

At this point, if I don't get to have my natural labor I will be crushed.  I have such a strong feeling towards doing this my way and on my terms that accepting anything less would just be unfathomable to me.  I want him to come into the world in the most natural way possible, and assuming I don't have something severely wrong with me, I believe it can be done.

26 weeks - stream of consciousness

So because I had IVF and/or ICSI, there is (apparently) a two- to four-fold increase in the probability that I will have a baby with heart defects.  Because of that, I was scheduled for a fetal echocardiogram at 26-27 weeks.  This 1.5 hour appointment is coming up on Thursday, and is the same as a regular ultrasound except they focus on the four chambers of the heart (blood flow, heart rate, structures, etc).  M couldn’t make it to this appointment, so I am bringing my mom.  I’m not sure if this is a mistake to bring “Mimi” (her new grandmother name!) or not.  I just worry that if something is wrong, the woman will never sleep again.  She’s a worrier x1000.  I mean, I shouldn’t throw stones because God knows I’m already a worrier and I don’t even have the baby yet…but she takes it to another level.    I am excited for her to see the baby real- time though, and to see how today’s technology works.  We all know that our parents’ generation didn’t have the benefit (or not?) of ultrasound so I thought she would appreciate tagging along.  I guess more on that next week.  Let’s just hope there is nothing wrong.

Along with being knee deep in financial matters (i.e. life insurance, the refi of the house, etc), house fix ups (ceilings painted, new front storm door, spring yard clean up) we also are anticipating our first birthing class this Friday night from 6-9pm.  It’s located at the Birth Center near our home (not attached to a hospital) and is called “Childbirth Education for the Planned Hospital Birth”.   I think the purpose is to review natural childbirth options when it seems like the odds are stacked against you- lol.  I’m anticipating topics such as “Yelling at nurses that try to force medication on you” and “Reacting to ignorant doctors when they doubt your God given ability to give birth”.  Wow, those are long titles.  Anyway, I am really looking forward hearing what they have to say as well as practicing labor positions and techniques.  I’m hopeful that this will correspond well to what I’ve been reading in my natural birthing books.

I was supposed to have lunch with my friend Jenna yesterday (who I haven’t seen in a year!) but unfortunately she was sick and had to cancel.  I hope to see her, and others I haven’t seen in a long time, at my shower at the end of April.  My mom keeps showing me all the cute things she’s gathered so far, as the shower is at her house.  My mom and mother in law are having separate showers for me, probably no more than 25 people at each.  The stuff my mom has collected so far is adorable, and she ran the menu by me as well.  It sounds delicious.  My mother in law showed me a proof of the invitations to her shower, and they are ADORABLE.    They have a giraffe at the top and blue giraffe print all over.  I will have to frame it and put it in the baby book I love it so much!  I’m starting to gravitate towards the boy baby clothes every time I go shopping, and they really do have some cute stuff out…I love everything with trains, camouflage, crabs, lambs, and giraffes.  I thought I wouldn’t like any of it but it’s just so cuddly I can’t help it!!

No new symptoms this week, other than my continued on again off again sleep patterns.  I had a doctor’s appointment last Thursday, and I gained about 1.5 lbs since last month, for a net weight gain so far of 22 lbs with one more week to go until my third trimester.  I expect to gain at least another 10, putting my total at 32 lbs.  I read that 25-35 lbs is considered “normal” for someone who started out with an average BMI, which I did.  Blood pressure was still normal (100/60) which made me feel good considering all of my heart palpitations and the fact that I can feel my blood pulsing through my veins. Overall, I’m pretty happy and don’t have any complaints.  I scheduled my glucose tolerance test in two weeks at a lab near me.  I’m going to go this week to pick up the yucky sugary drink that I’m supposed to have an hour beforehand so hopefully that appointment won’t take too long.  At that time they will also re-test my vitamin D levels (which were low last time) and my antibody screen (which was positive last time and we have fingers crossed that it is negative this time). 

I feel my little buddy move around all day long now.  He kicks and squirms and everyone can feel him from the outside now.  Sometimes I see him moving underneath my clothes. I’m glad he’s tumbling around in there because I’m sure sometime soon he’s going to start to run out of space.  I can’t wait to meet you, buddy!

25 weeks- Prayers to my friend J

Its things like this that make me recognize how lucky I am to be at 25 weeks.  I don’t take one single day of this pregnancy for granted.  J, a friend of mine, has been through two miscarriages and what looks to be like one failed round of IVF so far.  She had a positive beta and over the last couple of weeks things are looking more and more bleak that this will be a viable pregnancy.  They weren’t able to detect an embryo on the ultrasound and her HcG levels are falling.  She thinks pretty soon she will miscarry and doesn’t know what the next steps should be.  I have been there and hate that feeling- my heart hurts for her.  And today, thousands of teenage girls will get pregnant so we can see shows like “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom”. 

My main man is a kicking machine and this Thursday I have a doctor’s appointment.  Not sure if I’ll be doing the glucose test in the next couple of weeks or what, but I’m dreading it.  I really hope I don’t have gestational diabetes or high blood pressure at this point.  It would kill my dreams of natural childbirth.  We have our first prenatal doula appointment Sunday March 25 and I cannot wait to start this process.   I am trying to keep positive about labor and birth and release control.  But it has not been easy to get into that mindset.  I’m almost finished the last of my birth books and will move on to some child psychology and “Happiest Baby on the Block”.   We have scheduled some work on the house in the next couple of weeks because we are trying to get all those last minute things finished before the end of May.  We got a call from our furniture store last week and our nursery furniture is going to be delayed by a month, which would put it here at the end of April.  No big deal, that’s why we ordered it early.

I am feeling especially thankful today for our gift, and every day that he is moving around in there is a happy day.  I have no complaints about pregnancy. I wish everyone could appreciate it the way those of us dealing with infertility appreciate it.   I am in no rush for this pregnancy to end.

24 weeks- Heart Palpitations

Lately, I feel like all I hear is my own heartbeat.  When I’m sitting at work, laying down in bed, or just doing regular chores, all I hear is my heartbeat thumping in my own ears.  I had M take my heart rate the other day and normally, I’m about 60 bpm resting heart rate.  We swore we calculated it to be about 90 bpm when I was just sitting on the couch. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I have additional blood in my body that’s going to the little man, or that I’m just high strung all the time, but  I feel like I’m on drugs.  Everything I do is at a fast pace- thinking, talking, walking, or any sort of task.   M has to ask me to “slow down” and “back up” when I just start pouring out a stream of consciousness.  My mind races 24 hours a day and I’ve been having some insomnia when I wake up to pee in the middle of the night.  Some nights if I’m up at 3am I won’t be able to go back to sleep until 4 or 430am because of my heart and mind racing.  Between my work hours, wedding  & baby showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, thirtieth birthday parties, and birth prep/baptism classes coming up in March and April, I think I have thrown myself into a full blown hurricane.  I need to call my doula and schedule that prenatal massage, asap because even as I sit here typing, I can still hear my blood pulsing through my veins.  Come to think of it, I haven’t felt the little guy kicking very much over the last few days- maybe it’s time to Doppler for good measure.

I’m officially 6 months today and about two weeks from being out of my second trimester…one more to go! It is sad that it is moving so fast- I really am enjoying pregnancy.   Sure there are small annoyances (the teenage breakouts, heart palpitations as described above and embarrassing bodily functions) but overall I just love being pregnant.  I love having him near me and being able to talk to him any time I want.  I love that I am fully responsible for his life and there is nothing I want more in this world than to do right by him and see him flourish.  I want to give him everything and be perfect for him. Other than having him in my arms right now, this is the second best heaven I can imagine. 

I don’t really have any other symptoms to speak of other than the ones above.  I sleep pretty well, eat all of my normal foods (still refraining from a lot of meats, processed cheeses, dairy and caffeine) and get around pretty well.  Sometimes sitting too long hurts my back and butt, but if I have my feet up it is usually ok.  I obviously have to sleep on my side and rolling over takes quite a bit of effort.   I sit all day at work so my feet aren’t swollen- yet.  No cravings to speak of, but I’m doing a better job of avoiding meat and cow’s milk than I thought I would- I really don’t miss it.  I don’t miss alcohol either, but I do miss exercise.  I haven’t been to the gym at all since my IVF cycle started back in September- I was on exercise restriction anyway and even when I got past my first trimester I just didn’t feel like I should be doing a lot of that stuff.  I know they say it is good for you and doesn’t do any damage, but I’d rather just take these 9 months and put my feet up.  There’s plenty of time after baby arrives to whip my butt back into shape.  Pregnancy weight gain to date is holding steady at 20 lbs but we will see next week at my monthly appointment.  In the third trimester I read it’s a pound a week so if I can get to delivery up 30-35 lbs I would say not too shabby.  Here’s the latest picture of the bump, taken last night after a very very long day with the tax accountant, at a nursing home (visiting M’s grandmother) and at an in-law family get together.

23 weeks- Refinancing

Just add one more thing onto our overfilled plates- this past week we started the process of refinancing our home.  We had a really good rate to begin with (since we bought in 2009) but we are revamping our long term finances and plan so were on the hunt for an even better deal.  I ended up finding something with my credit union that decreased our mortgage rate from 4.5% for 30 years to 3.125% for 15 years.  Well worth the closing costs and headaches to complete this before the baby comes.  We are still waiting for M's life insurance and short term disability policy to kick in though- it's been 3 weeks since his bloodwork and we are dying to see how he comes in!

I had my monthly ultrasound last Friday. He is feet down, head up this time.  He is measuring approximately 12 inches long and 1 lb 2 oz!  He was moving around like crazy again during the ultrasound, putting his fingers in his mouth and curling his hands under his chin.   He is most active around lunch time and after dinner.  No stretch marks on me yet and my belly button is still in, though I am breaking out like a teenager.  Cravings are still at a minimum-I am still trying to keep a vegetarian/vegan diet, no soda or caffeine, but I can't help my sweet tooth :-)  I think the gestational diabetes test is coming up soon...

22 weeks- Cord Blood research

So first of all, most everyone smirks at me when I tell them I want to have a "natural" bith and have hired a doula.  But that just makes me want it more so I can throw it in their faces.  And I just love when people that have done zero reserach on risk and reward of c- section, medical interventions and childbirth weigh in.  I was all set for my doctor to be super supportive, but even the midwife turned OBGYN said "not to discourage you, but most women get in there and don't really know what they are in for."   I suppose time will tell if I will even be able to do it, but there would have to be a significant life or death situation to steer me away from my goal right about now.  If for no other reason, than to spite the non -believers.  Ok, enough about that.

Happy 22 weeks to the big man! 

I have been doing some research on cord blood banking and am so torn on whether or not to do it.  On the one hand, I know how much we've spent for IVF treatments to get him here, would it really be a crime to spend another $1-$2K to make sure he's covered for life should something unexpected happen?   But on the other hand, the chances that he'll actually get to, or have to, use his own cord blood to help with a disease is so minimal, I'm not sure that these companies prey on new parents.  My one sister in law did not bank her son's cord blood, but the other one did.  I'm getting many conflicting viewpoints, not to mention our own viewpoints, and am still so confused.  My doctor didn't have an opinion either way, he simply said to follow our gut.   My gut says to just do it, but I do not like to be duped into thinking something will work when it really won't.  I suppose I have a few more weeks of research to do!

Most of the time, I feel like I'm on speed or something. My brain goes a mile a minute and sometimes when I'm talking to M, he tells me to "back up"- like, I get in his face and ramble on and on with a stream of consciousness coming out of my mouth.  I am really on overdrive here and I think I need to just take a breath and realize that it will all work out.  My stress is manifesting itself in my back, and last night I didn't sleep at all because of horrific upper back pain.  Not even Tylenol or the heating pad helped.   I'm delerious!