Hopefully one last ultrasound!

They are estimating the big man to weigh in just over 8 lbs. 

39 weeks- Top 10

Top 10 things I've loved about this pregnancy
1. Continuous monitoring in the first trimester
2. Feeling the little guy move
3. Fetal Dopplers in the first trimester
4. Klondike Neapolitan ice cream bars & pizza, pizza, pizza
5. Maternity Jeans and all things without buttons
6. Being waited on because I'm not one to ask for help
7. M's patience
8. Monthly ultrasounds
9. Registering- first I started out with all neutral clothes but then I decided not to fight it :-)
10.  It's a miracle!

Top 10 things I've hated about this pregnancy
1. Numb hands since 28 weeks!
2. Swollen ankles and feet
3. The fact that in my third trimester I can't do all of the running around that I used to do!
4. Walking on eggshells until I could feel him moving
5. IVF, though this could also be a LOVE because it ended up bringing us Luke
6. Burst capillaries at 10 weeks
7. Not being able to roll myself out of bed since 30 weeks
8. End of pregnancy 5 times a night pee breaks
9. My nesting urges- I am very organized but I think I've taken it to a new level during this pregnancy and made those around me absolutely nuts!
10. Feeling "not ready" pretty much all the time

I think we are as ready as we are going to be after this weekend, as you can see from the nursery pictures.  As I write, the granite people are here installing the new counter tops, sink and faucet. 

Once that is done, this baby can feel free to pop his head out (lol) any time he wants.  I really am getting impatient to see his little face.  I know he is going to be our perfect little angel and we will love him more than we've ever loved anything in this world.

38 weeks

I am officially up 40 lbs from where I started back in September.  Mama is getting big!  So is baby…I believe truly that he will be definitely over 7 lbs when he is born, closer to 8 lbs.  Just something I’m feeling.  If he’s not, well then I don’t know what to say.  I’ve been trying to get in all my junk food eating before I give birth because afterwards I’m declaring jihad on my fat pregnancy body.  Breastfeeding coupled with some exercise and a juice/raw foods fast should hopefully put me right back to where I was pre-IVF.  If I can lose the 40 lbs and then some I will be SO HAPPY this summer.  I am really ready to hit it hard, I just feel so disgusting and I know I look pretty disgusting too.

Last week’s appointment was uneventful- still measuring on target with low blood pressure, everything looking good.  I’m not dilated at all but, again, he said my cervix is soft.  My doula said that doesn’t mean anything, as things can happen really fast when you are in labor.  Consequently we had our last pre-natal visit with Doula Nikki last week during a wicked thunderstorm and had to light candles for the 3 hour session! But it was really fun- we LOVE HER and I’ve already purchased a $100 spa giftcard for her after our labor/birth.  I would recommend her to anyone, she is just so great- so knowledgeable and informed without being overbearing and making you feel like it’s her way or the highway.   I feel like we have a childbirth “team” consisting of me, M, and Nikki and I think we will work very well together when the moment arises!  I can’t wait to go through this experience and I know it will be a positive and rewarding one.  She was able to share a couple of positive recent birth stories that she had, one being at the hospital we will deliver at.  That’s the second good “natural” birth story that I have heard at our hospital and my hopes are very high that we will get the care we are wishing for. 

I also reviewed the birth plan with my doc at Friday’s appointment and he didn’t seem to have any concerns at all about what we were trying to accomplish.  He was actually very PRO dimming the lights, using the mirror, using a birth ball, stool or bars on the bed to hang with.  He said our hospital has gone from one extreme to the other and he is happy to see the changes in effect.  There is no nursery at our hospital, only 24 hour in rooming with the baby, along with skin to skin contact whenever possible.  These are all things I’m adamant about, so I feel like we won’t have to “fight” to get our natural un-medicated birth like I thought we would have.  I’m feeling very relaxed about the whole thing and am very confident in my choice to not go to the birth center.  Of course, the plan is to labor at home as long as possible before going in, just in case.  I wouldn’t want to go in any less than 6/7 cm in order to avoid being put on their clock to labor and deliver.   Doula Nikki says when we leave the house anyway sphincter law kicks in so there will be some backsliding anyway as most people don’t deliver their babies in cars on the way to the hospital.

Other than that, we are just continuing to prepare Luke’s room for his arrival! Only a couple more things on our list- install black out shades, hang pictures, hang the baby monitor and put the exersaucer together!  We put the high chair together and stroller, swing and car seat are ready to go.  My sister in law is letting me borrow her snap n’ go (which is so lightweight) and I have the diaper bag all packed and ready! All I really need is the baby.  Things are going so well it almost makes me think that things are going TOO well.  I hate when I do this to myself.  Now I think something bad is going to happen to combat all of the good things going on in my life…why do I always do that?!

He is on the move all the time, albeit running out of space in there.  He kicks and squirms from 10-11am, then around dinner, then again after 830pm.  I wonder if he already has his little sleep schedule in there.  I do feel hiccups sometimes, they are so cute.  I feel them down near my upper thigh, where his head must be.  I feel little thumps that come at equal intervals and it cracks me up.  I still talk to him every day and tell him that whenever he is ready to come out is fine with us.  I tell him it’s completely up to him and we will wait until he’s ready to greet us.  I have these little tinglies in my belly when I think about him and how much I love him.  I just can’t wait to kiss him and snuggle him in person.  Doing it from in the womb is getting old.

37 weeks- Happy Memorial Day

I am so happy to be 37 weeks!!  He is right around the corner and we can't wait to meet him!  I had a doctor's appointment last week and everything is still measuring on track.   I am not dilated at all but the doctor said that my cervix is softening so that's a good first step. I also got a Group B strep culture and am expecting that to come back negative as they already took one in the first trimester and I haven't been doing things that I shouldn't have :-)

My work had a baby shower for me this week, which was so extremely generous.  A lot of what I got were duplicates, though, so I had to return most of it.  Store credits are the best though, I was able to order the high chair, humidifier, another set of bottles, and other small miscellaneous things still left on the registry.  I was so appreciative of my generous co-workers, and the shower really WAS a surprise.

We picked our granite this week for the countertops- New Venetian Gold- and the demo and templating is expected to start in two days.  I'm preparing the kitchen by clearing off all countertops and walls to minimize the dusting afterwards.  But I know I'll be spending the rest of this week cleaning and dusting after the work mean leave- and that makes my blood pressure rise just thinking about it...

New Venetian Gold 

This is not our kitchen but we have similar wall color and cabinet color

I had a nice four day weekend for the holiday this weekend and am dreading going back to work tomorrow!  We got so much done- M powerwashed the deck and the entire outside of the house, we picked up some new deck furniture in Lancaster and finally got all of the colorful planting finished outside that we wanted to do.  M sealed our driveway and I was able to get all of my last minute shopping for the baby done.  Yesterday we had a BBQ at my in - laws and today my mom is coming for dinner.  Very productive weekend but still more to be done next weekend!

Happy 37 weeks to the big man! I don't think I've been having Braxton Hicks but I'm not really sure. I definitely think it is cramped in there for him, he moves a lot still but it is getting more uncomfortable for me- he kicks me up near my ribs and last night was extremely uncomfortable.  Yesterday I got a pedi/mani (maybe my last for awhile) and the numbness in my hands is at an all time high.  My feet are also more swollen than ever-only elevating them for 8 hours seems to help them out at all.  But I said it before and I'll say it again- it's ALL WORTH IT to carry my baby to term, considering the predicament we were in one year ago today.

We love you Luke, and can't wait to meet you in a couple of weeks :-)

36 weeks- Getting Ready

I now know why pregnancy only lasts 9 months.  By the end you are just so big and so uncomfortable anything is more appealing than going one more day with swollen feet, numb hands, and the inability to sit or lay comfortably in any position.   He moves around so much, I think he’s going to be a big baby!  Big meaning over 7 lbs, almost 8.  That’s my guess.  My numb hands have reached a new level of pain, it really does feel like someone is holding my hand to a hot stove all the time, especially at night.  I have been up 2 or 3 times during the night running to the bathroom, and then can’t sleep because of the hands.  If that’s the worst of it, I’m lucky. Man, I promised myself I wouldn’t get like this with all I’ve been through, but here I am, complaining again.  So enough of that.

Last week I decided it would be really important to focus on granite kitchen countertops in my last few weeks of pregnancy.  So last Friday, I signed a contract with a company that will come next week to template the kitchen, remove the countertops, sink, and disconnect the cooktop, then return 10 days later with my new sink, faucet and countertops.  That means from May 30 until almost my due date we will be without sink, stove and countertop.   I figured I’d rather have it be just the two of us and be inconvenienced than have the baby and have no sink.  Of course, if I were a rational human being right now I wouldn’t be thinking about the countertops at all, rather, focusing on the nursery.  I did have a nice long weekend to focus on that though.  I learned how to use my breast pump, hung curtains, got pictures for the walls, and organized the closet (for the 5^th time).  M figured out a place to hang the video monitor and this week I plan on sterilizing bottles, binkies and breast pump parts to make sure everything is ready to use when needed!

We had a surprise 30^th for my cousin’s husband on Saturday and it was the most gorgeous weather!  There were three of us pregnant chicks there, all complaining about our symptoms and wondering when our babies were going to come out.  There was one girl due before me and one girl due in September.  It was amazing how different all of our shapes were.   We were talking about registries, the latest baby books, natural vs. medicated birth…mostly everyone there thought I was crazy for attempting natural.  I love when people speak on topics they know nothing about.  One of the girls’ husbands’s even said that he heard statistics from his anesthesiologist friend that someone who goes “natural” the first time will be 80% more likely to get an epidural with the second pregnancy.    I can’t wait to let everyone know how I did it naturally.  It’s going to be such a satisfying feeling.

This week I’m going to schedule out my feeding, pumping and sleeping schedule so we know exactly what we have to do to start a schedule when we get him home from the hospital.  I start the first of my four weekly appointments this Friday.  I don’t know what those will be like, but I’m assuming I’ll have internal exams and we’ll start to talk about dilation, effacement, and the birth plan (FINALLY!).    Here’s where I’ll realize if I’ve made a mistake doing the hospital vs. birth center.  Next Tuesday I’m so excited to have my last appointment with the doula before I have the baby- I miss her and I can’t wait to get a good dose of positive reinforcement!  She is the BEST!!  Well, next to my hubby of course.

35 weeks- 4 year anniversary, Soon to be Mother’s day and promotion!

Man have we had an exciting/stressful past couple of weeks.

This week is our 4 year anniversary and I can’t believe it has been that long. I know it sounds cliché but we have been through the ups and downs over the past 4 years and I believe some of what we have gone through would have broken other couples up.  But we have stayed strong and united during the rollercoaster ride of IVF and I’m so thrilled that our time has almost come!  Only a few more weeks until we get to meet our baby boy (i.e. the “million dollar man”) that we have worked so hard to bring into this world.  I have to admit that still, every time I hear an “oops I got pregnant” story, I’m seething with jealousy.  Not an admirable quality to have, I know, but I can’t help it.  Even when I have my baby in my arms I will still have the tattoo of IVF all over me.  It never, ever goes away.  Especially when I hear about people having their second and third children, because I know that I have another round of IVF around the corner to get my second baby (God willing) I just want to scream.  It takes me $30K to have a baby, and *poof* just takes some people a couple of months.  But I digress.

Mother’s Day was this past Sunday and my sweet M got me the cutest card that said “To my mommy from your little sprout” with a little plant on the front of the card.  ADORABLE!  Then, because mommies don’t often have the most recent technology, M got me an iPod iTouch.   

Talk about a good gift, this beats everything I had planned for Father’s day and M’s birthday!  It was totally unexpected; I just have to figure out how to use it.  M is due for an iPhone pretty soon so we’ll be able to FaceTime during the day if he’s around so he can at least see the little man.   The second part of my present was to have M’s undivided attention to finish off our baby registry and start to set up the nursery and learn how to use everything. 

We spent a good 2 hours at Babies R Us (God bless that man) and then had a nice lunch out.  At home, we unpacked everything, did laundry, put together the Diaper Genie, Baby Bjorn, crib bedding, infant bathtub….and we still have more to do! I don’t know if it’s just me or if this is common, but I feel SO NOT READY!   I feel really behind- maybe it’s the April that I had, but I am verging on frantic.  Every time my mom talks to me she says she’s worried because I’m so on edge and nothing suits me.  I think it’s “nesting” but maybe it’s a little more than that.  I have this obsessive need for everything to be perfect and it’s starting to take over my life.   I hope my hormones will be back in balance after the baby gets here because I think I’m majorly unbalanced.  

 

On top of it all I have this crazy idea in my mind that we’ll get our granite kitchern countertops done before my due date.  I visited a show room  today to engage a company to do it.  Seriously, I must be nuts.  M installed a storm door two weeks ago, and during that same weekend we discovered a serious mold issue in our garage.  There was water on the floor and some bubbling in the ceiling- upon further investigation and a hole in the garage ceiling later- we have mold covered insulation and a pipe leak from our master bathroom shower!  Luckily we were able to get an emergency plumber out there to fix the pipe, now just the hole in the ceiling remains.  That is supposed to be fixed this weekend.

In addition to all of THAT, last week I found out that in spite of my company’s acquisition of another company in Baltimore and the loss of tons of jobs in my area at my location, I am actually going to be promoted effective May 21 (right before maternity leave) so when I get back in October I have to hit the ground running with a new team and possibly have to travel to Baltimore for transition.  Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited that this has FINALLY happened for me after 4 years in the same position, but I really had just come to grips with the fact that maybe it was ok that I wasn’t going to be promoted.  Now they spring this on me and I was happy for myself for about one hour before I realized how much will be expected of me come October when I have a four month old and am the only one available for drop off and pickup at daycare.  But that’s just like me; I can’t look on the bright side of anything right now.  I am frantic, hormonal and my head is in a million different places!

Last Friday I had my 35 week doc appointment and yesterday we got our monthly ultrasound pictures!  The little man is actually looking like a real baby now…chubby cheeks and all!  His nose was a little smooshed in the picture but M keeps reminding me that he’s in fluid and the ultrasound pictures aren’t  actually representative of how he might look.   I can’t wait to see him in person and hold him in my arms.  Then all of this craziness will be worth it! I think I’m mostly crazy and like a woman on a mission because I want to be fully engulfed and 100% focused on the baby when he comes. I don’t want distractions like granite and cleaning.  I don’t want to do anything else but focus on being “mommy”…nothing else is as important.  So that’s why I’m trying to get all of these other odds and ends finished so they will be out of my mind completely by the time he gets here.  

In the meantime…I really need to sleep.

33/34 Weeks- Baby Showers and Nesting!

I am feeling slightly behind here.

I got a promotion at work on Friday, effective at the end of the month.  Then I go on maternity leave for 4 months....and when I get back to work I expect that I'll hit the ground running again.  Which makes me very very nervous on how this will impact me as a new mommy.  But I am trying not to dwell on the problems or expectations that the new position will bring, and I will focus my attention to the baby.  I was proud of my promotion for about 1 hour, then it was back to worrying in true mommy fashion.

The last two weeks, again, like the two weeks before this, have been a balancing act to say the least.  I've again been working 50-55 hour work weeks (down from the previous 65-70 hour work weeks in April) and I am reaching the end of my rope.  I don't sleep that well, partially because of the constant trips to the bathroom and partially because now BOTH hands are numb and sleeping with the numbness has become so painful that it wakes me up.  I had a slight nervous breakdown mid week but with enough sleep this weekend I am holding it together for now.

Two Sundays ago my mom had a shower for me, and this past Sunday my mother in law had one for me.  Both were so beautiful and everyone was so generous --sometimes I wonder if I even deserve it.  My mom's shower I got all the big things I needed- stroller, car seat, swing, etc.- and she did an amazing job.  She had it at her house and had the CUTEST decorations and did most of the food herself.   I am so blessed to have such generous people in my life....though I will always wonder what makes people ignore the baby registry and just go off and do their own thing.  Come on people, the registry is there for a reason! 

I also had a bit of an annoyance last week when I asked my doctor when I was supposed to get my Rhogam shot.  He was surprised when he saw that I hadn't received it at 28 weeks.  So of course I had to rush and make an appointment at the hospital to get it- that should have been enough for me to quit my doctor and go running towards the midwife practice at the Birth Center.  However, I did not.  I made the decision, after talking to a girlfriend that just went medication free at the hospital two weeks ago, that I would stick with the hospital.  They were supportive of her decision to go without an epidural and they did not give her any trouble.  I think that is good enough for me.  At least this time around.  We'll see if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again through IVF I will consider the birth center next time.  I just kept thinking that the worst thing that could happen to me at the hospital would be a C- section; the worst thing that could happen to me at the Birth Center is that we could lose him or lose me.

So after both showers, I'm in complete nest and organization mode.  And I still don't feel like I've even made a dent in the organization I want to do in his room.  That's why this coming Sunday, Mother's Day, I get a complete day all to myself to do organization and go to Babies R Us with M and finish our registry.  I am beside myself with excitement!!  Saturday I have a bridal shower and then am going to visit my mom for a bit while M is at a Phillies game.  Then Sunday it's all about the nursery!

As far as pregnancy symptoms and feelings, I think the most annoying one by far is the numb hands.  Now that both are numb it's really hard to write and type, and when I sleep on one or both of my arms it is very painful (feels like burning or someone ironing your hand!). My feet are getting better with the swelling, and although I get up twice a night to go to the bathroom, it's still manageable. My belly button hasn't popped yet and I don't have one single stretch mark on my stomach, so that is a win.  I need a hair cut desperately (getting one next week) and I finally got a mani/pedi last week, which was a long time coming! I have to remember to pamper myself in these last few weeks because I might not get these moments back again for a long time...

The clock is ticking and I'm feeling the pressure to get stuff done! It is so exciting and I can't wait until he is here.